Just the other night I sat at Trappeze and talked with a girl for an hour about our class presentation for the next day. The presentation was on a book of Native American Philosophy and specifically an argument against Western Christian thought. We're both pastor's kids, which is funny, but she has taken a very different path of belief than I have.
While driving home from downtown, I found myself wondering, "Jesus YOU are the light of the world. Did she see that? Does she like me? Did she think I was intelligent?"
Then I realized those last two questions are bad questions. Whether or not she likes me is actually negligible. It won't win her to Christ and really only serves the purpose of making me feel better about myself.
Then I asked myself, "Did she feel loved by me?" That felt like the right question. Her liking me is about me, but her feeling loved makes it about her. I don't care if she thinks I'm cool (Well, my flesh does, but it really shouldn't matter).
I've heard before, "People won't remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel."
I want people to walk away from me feeling loved - always.
To be honest, I feel like you have to give up cool points to do that. It means never cutting anyone down or making jokes at their expense. It means making the conversation about the other person. It means complementing and encouraging; giving up pride and beating insecurity.
I probably won't get it right every time, but I know it's the right question to ask and action to take. Challenge me on it.
