Addict

ad·dic·tion
əˈdikSHən/

n: a condition that results when a person ingests a substance or engages in an activity that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work or relationships, or health
synonyms: dependency, dependence, habit, problem 



Addiction.


Not my favorite word in the dictionary.

Sure, people can be addicted to things that are perfectly harmless - like coffee, college football or a smart phone. Or people can be addicted to far more destructive things - like alcohol, drugs, pornography, sex, gambling, tobacco, theft, food or money.


Here is what I don’t like about addiction:

The idea of being out of control.

Unable to stop, no matter how bad you know it is for you.

Something that drew you in as pleasurable ... turning on you and enslaving you.

The guilt that comes along with being an addict.


One of the best descriptive paragraphs about addiction I’ve ever read actually comes from the Bible. Paul, one of the New Testament’s biggest heroes, paints the picture in Romans 7:

15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good . . .
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway . . .
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am!

I’ve always been horribly fascinated with this passage of Scripture. Paul, possibly the most famous Christian ever, a man who risked his life to tell the message of Jesus over and over and over, writes the perfect description of an addict. And he’s writing about himself. In present tense. And he wasn’t addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, or any of the other “well known biggies”...

He is talking about a sin addiction.

Paul doesn’t get specific, but if he’s talking about things that go against God’s law, he’s talking about things like - lying, cheating, lusting, selfishness, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, pridefulness, unkindness, jealousy, idolatry, bitterness, greediness, etc.

According to Paul’s definition of an addict, who isn’t one? Sometimes we talk about drug addicts like they’re “poor lost souls”who got into the wrong stuff and didn’t have enough self control to get out early. All the while we don’t have the self awareness to see that we are in the same predicament as they are - out of control with sin, unable to help ourselves.

I personally resonate with Paul’s description of himself so much. I know exactly what it’s like to know the right thing to do, be set and determined to do the right thing, only to ultimately falter. I know exactly what it’s like to be determined to forgive someone because I know it’s what God does for me, only to harbor bitter feelings when the time actually comes. I know exactly what it’s like to be ready to say “I’m sorry” to someone that I’ve wronged, only to let my pride get the best of me when we have a conversation. I know exactly what it’s like to tell a “harmless white lie” out of convenience, even though Scripture is clear that God hates lies. I know exactly what it’s like to idolize someone and worship them instead of God when that goes against the first and second commandments.

Paul and I are sin addicts. How about you?

And what do we do about it?

This is actually the point I’m really trying to make in this writing. Something dawned on me the other day. I think recovering addicts who go through a program like AA or NA or FA understand something about life better than the rest of us do. I think we sin addicts have a few things to learn from them. Let’s take a look at the 12 steps to recovery presented by AA (and used by other such recovery groups):

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I realize that I am not the first person to suggest that these steps have the gospel written all over them. But now I’m looking at them through the lens that I, too, would benefit from these steps. Admitting I can’t do life well on my own, asking for God’s help, taking a great moral inventory of myself, confessing my sins to Him and others, praying for God’s power to overcome the sin addiction, and spreading the message to others.

Paul had it figured out a couple thousand years ago. Here’s a continuation of the passage in Romans 7, into 8:

Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord . . . And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. 3 The law of Moses was unable to  save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.

The answer to recovery from a sin addiction is to know Christ, Paul says. And anyone who follows Christ will quickly recognize the similarities between what He asks of us - acknowledge our need of Him, confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, prayer - and the 12 steps presented by AA.


There are two other important things recovering addicts know:

1. Going through the steps is not a one time deal. You don’t go through the steps once and magically become healed. You are a recovering addict for the rest of your life. You repeat the steps over and over. Otherwise, you dangerously run the risk of falling back into an active addiction. So for me, “confession to God at conversion to Christianity” was not enough. Continual moral inventory, confession and prayer is needed to keep me out of my sin addiction. Oh, why is that so hard?


2. You cannot stay clean alone. Not forever anyway. You need the support of other recovering addicts. You need the encouragement, support and constant reminders of why you’re staying sober. You need it often. So for me, Christian community is imperative. Meeting with other Christians, being AUTHENTIC/SPECIFIC about personal struggles and giving/receiving encouragement is the only way I’ll stay anywhere near clean of the sins that lurk in my heart. Again, not easy.



Whatever makes me think that I can follow God’s law on my own or in a lackadaisical way is ridiculous. I should know myself better than that by now. I am not self-sufficient. I need God’s help for my sin addiction. I need His help while I’m on earth, and ultimately, I need His help to make it to Heaven. Without Him forgiving and covering my sins, I wouldn’t get there. And I need other people’s help while I’m on earth. Sin is sneaky, dark, deceptive, tantalizing and often subtle. It’s too tricky for me to fight on my own. I need a team.


Will I recover from my sin addiction? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ my Lord.

Two > One

Earlier this week I read an e-mail that asked, “What if it’s not who you marry, but why? What if God designed marriage to make us holy rather than make us happy? What if it’s about finding a ‘sole mate’ - someone to walk through your spiritual journey with?”

Those questions were so refreshing to me. Refreshing because they resonated as truth. If marriage isn’t about making me happy, then it’s okay if I’m not happy every second in marriage. If it’s not about who I marry, then it frees me from ever making comparisons. If it IS about finding someone to walk through this Kingdom life with, that sounds glorious to me. If it IS about making me more holy, sign me up. (Oh wait, I already did :) )

Two are better than one for all sorts of reasons. Two brings comfort, laughter, encouragement, friendship, teamwork, safety, support. But the most important thing two can do better than one is follow Christ. [Now I genuinely don’t just mean this in marriage - this applies to friendships, churches, family members, anywhere that 2 or more believers come together. In fact, I think that in that whole first quote, the words “friendship” or “the church” could be substituted for “marriage.”] Scripture tells us time and again that believers cannot follow God alone. We are weak - prone to temptation, prone to doubt. That is why we need each other. We need another’s reminder of faith when ours is flailing. We need another’s perspective when ours is dark. We need another’s prayer when we cannot pray.

When the purpose of marriage is put into perspective for me, it makes me so much more content. Marriage is not ultimately about giving me what I want, making me happy, or satisfying me. It is ultimately about pushing my spouse towards Christ and loving him as Christ does. And that goal is not only one that I can get excited about, but one that I can actually achieve. With His help.


Brent, you bless me. My God, thank You for him. May our marriage reflect You always.

Preach it, teacher. ... take 2

In this process of updating my blog, I'm posting several things I've written for other blogs. I wrote this about 9 months ago - 

 "What's so great about teaching?"

Gosh, I’m not even sure. But there’s nothing better to me job-wise than walking away from a class feeling like they really grasped the concept I was trying to get across. The day a student told me I made a great analogy when I had made it on the fly literally changed my day. Wait wait, start over, maybe this is what it is.

I really love to learn. Really, really love to learn. I think learning is fascinating, exciting, worth my time. And I like teaching in a way that makes other people discover that learning can be all those things to them, too. Sometimes students need to be challenged, sometimes they need to be encouraged, sometimes they need to be taught something that will simply blow their minds. Learning takes discipline, and in this culture we don’t like discipline very much, but the payoff is incredible.

The world is the best. But seriously. There’s so much to know … see … discover. I think it’s because there’s so much to know, see, and discover about God. He’s the best. He created the world and the people who live in it. That makes sociology and psychology intriguing. That makes physics brilliant and mind-blowing. That makes history important. That makes literature expressive. That makes art creative and beautiful. That makes music passionate. That makes athletics heart-pounding. He created it all. And He is the most creative Creator there will ever be.

I think every subject studies a facet of His character. Learning about Him and His Creation (or the creations of His creation - like literature, architecture, music, etc.) is simply transfixing. If I’m not communicating that as a teacher, I’m not doing my best. Learning should not be dull. It takes hard work sometimes (a lot of times), but it should not be dull. One thing is for certain - God is not dull. It is my privilege to do my best to reflect that in every single class period.

 

Preach it, teacher.

In this process of updating my blog, I'm posting several things I've written for other blogs. I wrote this about 9 months ago -

People are so skeptical of authority these days. Maybe they’ve always been skeptical of authority, but it seems to be getting worse. This makes the job of teaching tricky. “Why should I care?” “Why do we have so much homework/so many tests?” “I’ll never need to know this when I’m older” are questions and comments that have to be subliminally answered in every class period.

I’m always trying to prove to my students why what they’re learning and how they’re learning matters. And I always want to make sure that it’s true - that I’m not wasting their time - that what I’m communicating will better them in some way - that they will be smarter, more informed, a better critical thinker, a better problem solver, better at a certain skill by the end.

A prime example: I am teaching my health class about STD’s tomorrow. My opening line comes from a pastor in Seattle, Mark Driscoll: “Is sex gross, a god or a gift?” I want them to know I’m not trying to scare them out of having premarital sex. I’m not trying to use my authority to make sure they “behave.” No, I’m not trying to communicate tomorrow that sex is gross. I am a firm believer that sex is a gift, a beautiful gift. However, STD’s (or STI’s) are real and affect a great number of sexually active individuals. They range in severity everywhere from curable by antibiotics to deadly. And most teenagers can throw around the words “chlamydia” and “syphilis” without really having any idea what they do to your body. I want my students to be informed, intelligent human beings on the subject.

People always want to know why. Heck, I always want to know why. If I can’t see a good reason, I don’t want to do it. Because of that, I always want to have an applicable answer to the question, “Why are we doing this?” (Note: a close relative to the question, “Who cares?”). Students may not have the humility, foresight or perspective to always agree with my answer, but I want to be confident that it is valid. If it continues to pay off in the classroom (much like a coach who continually pushes his team towards perfection), I hope to get the students on my side, working hard for me and with me.

Law & Grace - A Speeding Ticket

This is another old-school post from Christ Community's blog, but this story is also worth the re-visit:

It’s Rachael Mirabella here, part of the second year Protege team at Christ Community. I want to tell you a real-life story that developed over the past couple months for me. It’s a story about the law and grace, and I hope it’s encouraging to you:

The story begins as I was driving home in mid-August from one of our youth group girl’s homes in Madison County. It was the afternoon, and I was headed back to my house after the day’s work with not a lot on my mind. All of a sudden, I saw flashing lights in my rear window and heard a siren. ‘Why am I being pulled over?’ I wondered aloud to myself. I checked my speedometer – only going 5 miles over the speed limit. ‘Well, good thing I just got my new license in the mail yesterday.’ My old license had been expired for 3 weeks.

When the officer approached my window, he asked the typical question, ‘Do you know why I pulled you over today?’ ‘No, I really don’t,’ I replied honestly. He told me: ‘You’re in a school zone and driving 15 miles over the speed limit.’ His words hit hard. To be honest, my first thought was that since I’m living off support, this felt like worse-case scenario. I don’t have money to just throw around for being irresponsible.

My first response was to ask for a favor. ‘Sir, I genuinely had no idea I was in a school zone. Is there any way I could get away with just a warning?’ You see, I was passing Athens Christian School that day. If you’ve never seen the school before, it’s set about a hundred yards behind a line of trees on Hwy 29. Granted, there’s a sign right off the road for the school and a flashing light saying ‘School Zone’, but in my lackadaisical mood and missing the typical signs for a school (like a building you can see), I was totally unaware. 

Anyway, in short, his answer was no to my favor. He dropped my speed by 1 mph so I wouldn’t get any points on my license, then wrote me a ticket and sent me on my way. Driving home, I was unbelievably frustrated. I felt deserving of grace. ‘I really didn’t know I was in a school zone! I can’t believe he wrote me a ticket.’ But before I even made it home, it hit me … I did deserve the ticket. Whether or not I was aware of my breaking the law, I was breaking it. I owed the debt. So I decided to learn a good lesson – being judged under the law is awful; I don’t want to take for granted that in life, grace is mine in Jesus and I am no longer judged under God’s law. ‘Good takeaway, I suppose,’ I thought. But fortunately that’s only half of the story.

I kept putting off paying the ticket because I simply didn’t want to pay it. I knew it was due sometime in October, so I forgot about it all through September. For whatever reason, as the due-date approached, I continued to avoid paying it. Finally, four days after it was due, I got the ticket out to pay it online. Total amount due: $220. Way more than I expected. $170 for speeding in a school zone, and $50 for the late fee. ‘I am a fool,’ I thought, and ‘This would happen on a day when I feel especially connected to the Lord.’

A mere twenty minutes later, something incredible happened. I received an e-mail that read like this: “Your payment has been REJECTED.” ‘Oh no, what did I do wrong?’ I wondered. When I opened the e-mail, I was shocked by what I read. There was no record of my citation under the number I had entered or by my name and birthdate. Since the court date had passed, the case was considered closed and they would refund my money. I couldn’t contain my joy as I was blown away by grace and the metaphor for my life. My offense was erased from memory; it was as if it had never even happened. Over the next three days, I received 2 more e-mails, a phone call, and a letter telling me my payment had been rejected. They wanted to make sure I got the picture. My roommate described it like this: “The Lord is screaming grace at you.”

Yes, He was. And is. I’m listening. And forever grateful.




John 1:16, “And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”

The felt love.

This is an old-school post I wrote for Christ Community Church, but this story is worth a re-visit ...


In a sermon from Luke 7:36-50 by Matt Adair a few weeks ago, he made this statement:

‘The greatest power to set you free from the addictions, afflictions and assorted troubles of this world is the felt love of Jesus.”

I think we can all say we know the difference between believing we are loved and then feeling loved by someone. We have asked members of our church to share stories of a time when they really felt loved by Jesus. There is so much power in the stories of believers, so we hope you are encouraged by these.

Our first post is by protege member Rachael Mirabella:






One day in 2008 I was sitting in my bedroom in Athens shortly after I got back home from a summer mission trip in Peru. I was really wrestling with how to hear the Lord’s voice. I heard Christians I knew talk about it often. They would say, “The Lord told me to do this” or “The Lord told me to go talk to that person.” How in the world did they know that? How could I be sure it wasn’t just my voice talking in my own head? And if we were going to get all hyper-spiritual, how could I be sure it wasn’t the devil talking? Maybe I just wasn’t giving Him the chance to speak?

So I decided to sit down with the Lord and have a chat. I sat on my bed and talked for a while. I told Him all about my fears, insecurities, dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes – just like I would a friend. Then I told Him it was His turn. “Please speak if you have anything to say!” All of a sudden the reference John 20:15 popped in my head. Now I’ve tried the whole flip-open-the-Bible-to-a-random-page-and-see-if-a-verse-applies-to-this-situation trick before. It hadn’t worked. But I decided to skeptically open my Bible and see what John 20:15 had to say. This is what I read: 15 “ ‘Dear woman, why are you crying?’ Jesus asked her. ‘Who are you looking for?’ She thought he was the gardener. ‘Sir,’ she said, “if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him.’ “ I quickly realized I was reading a verse from when Mary Magdalene went to the tomb to find Jesus and could not find him. Then I read the line before verse 15: “It was Jesus, but she did not recognize him.”

I couldn’t believe it. The Lord had spoken directly to me through a verse. And more than that, He had spoken into my mind. I felt so known, so understood, so loved.  ”Okay, Jesus, You’re telling me You are here with me and I just don’t recognize you. Help me to recognize your voice,” I asked. The next day I had a conversation with a believer friend of mine who said, “I usually just assume that if something good, something pure, something servant-minded, or something loving pops into my head – that thought probably did not come from my sinful nature self.” So now that’s how I operate. If I feel drawn towards a certain person in a crowd, I go with it. If the thought pops into my mind to serve my roommate by making her bed, I go with it. That’s the Holy Spirit living inside of me directing my steps and changing my heart to be more like His. And if He lives inside of me, I am known. If He lives inside of me, I am His. And the Bible promises that if I am His, I am loved. That moment was such a defining one for me that my Creator and Savior knows and loves me.

RestoreBrazil.

Hey everybody, it’s Rachael Mirabella (soon-to-be-Boyd!). I was privileged to be one of four leaders on our youth group’s recent mission trip to Brazil. I could talk about a thousand different things from our week in Rio, but I want to share is the two biggest lessons I learned.

Passion for your City

I was floored by the three pastors we worked with while in Rio – one was American and two were Brazilian. You want to see people who love their city? We saw them. As they took us to a church to do VBS, to an orphanage to play with kids, to a homeless shelter surrounded by transvestites, to a street in the City of God (one of the poorest slums in Rio), they were not strangers. These were not places they just take teams of Americans every once in a while to give them an experience. These are places they go, week in and week out, to tell people about Jesus. They bring spiritual and practical restoration to some of the darkest places on earth. They are loved by the people in these places.

The name of their organization, Restore Brazil, is very fitting. That is what they are working towards. And they are working hard! They know their city, they know the needs, and they are working tirelessly to meet them. At first it made me ashamed to think of these pastors coming to Athens. What would they think when they saw how little I knew my city? Then I realized there is no need for shame. Jay, Paulo and Rabsom were very quick to admit that working for restoration is a long process. I don’t need to be ashamed; I need to be inspired.

And I was inspired. I want to know whatever city I live in the future as well as they know Rio de Janeiro. I want our church to know Athens / Watkinsville and work to meet their needs. I want you to go to Brazil, meet these three pastors and all the other wonderful people down there  

God answers prayer

Over and over again, Collin and I prayed for one big thing. We prayed that the Spirit would move. We asked Him to move in our hearts, the hearts of our students, and the hearts of the people in Brazil. The whole trip was pointless if Jesus wasn’t there; He is the one that changes people.

I was blown away moment after moment as I watched God change hearts that week. Some were very small changes, some were very large (our bus driver became a believer!), all were a blessing of grace from Him. Personally, God was working away at my pride and cultivating humility. He by no means achieved perfection in my heart, but He did some good work. He also encouraged my faith by allowing me to see Him answering prayer.

So to recap the two big lessons learned - God answers prayer, and I want to be passionate about my city because my God is passionate about people.