Hope is real.
Joy is real.
Forgiveness is real.
Restoration is real.
His faithfulness is real.
He really is a God who puts broken things back together.
I've been learning a lot recently, so much that I feel as though I could fill a hundred pages with it.
But what I feel most today is rejoicing with a friend who has so many reasons to rejoice. You should read her last blog post. For real -
The Art of Being Brave
Tell me our God isn't one who saves. I want the world to know Jesus reigns.
I'll write again soon.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Reflection
A couple people have commented on me not blogging recently. I always hesitate to write after that, because I want to make sure I actually have something to say. But alas I think I do, so here goes.
I was staring at the full moon last night in wonder. In case you don't know, the sky is my favorite of all God's creation. Utterly breathtaking. But last night, I was imaging what it would be like if I knew nothing about the moon.
Let me explain. The light coming from the full moon was so bright that in a field that would have otherwise been pitch black, we could see everything. My face practically shone in the moonlight. And then I thought, if I didn't know that the moon was made of rock (slash cheese) and therefore incapable of shining on its own, I would think it was producing its own light. However, thanks to a fantastic UGA education for the past three and a half years, I know the moon only reflects the sun's light.
Naturally, I extended this metaphor to myself. Some might say that I am a friendly, kind, genuine, positive person (but ask my roommates). They may see a "light" about me. The thing is, that light's not mine. Anything that's good, or light in me was either created by God or has been redeemed by Him.
I am like the moon; I am nothing too spectacular. Just made up of a bunch of dust, and only if the Lord shines on me can I shine at all. I've heard humans called glory-coated dust and I like that. I am unique, and I serve a purpose, but I have no light of my own. Now, the more I open myself up to His Spirit in me the brighter I become - more like a full moon. And maybe the earth is like the sin that stands in the way of me being a full moon all the time. Or maybe I just took it too far.
But back to what's really important - if no one knows anything about me or the God of this Universe, they might not realize the light is not mine. They'll praise me for being friendly and forgiving when really they should praise Him for anything and everything good. I used to be afraid of accepting compliments for this reason, but now I just want to say "glory to Him" every time.
More than that, though, I want to boast in my weaknesses, my dusty dustiness. Trust me, I have a ton. Ask my roommates. I hurt people; I'm selfish; I'm forever prideful. I'd rather people know so that instead of building me up in their heads, they recognize the Holy God. Nothing good I do is of my own accord. And most of the time lately, I don't feel like I'm doing anything good at all. I feel stuck in a lunar eclipse.
But praise be to the One who mercifully shines on us even when we don't deserve it. So even if right now when all seems confusing I'm still producing a sliver of light, I know where it comes from. May we be willing to share why we reflect that light and that none of it is self-produced. Not one kilowatt. Dust cannot shine unless shone upon.
These lyrics by Jaime Jamgochian say perfectly what I'm trying to say:
Jesus, Light of the world
Shine on us, shine on us
Word of Life, spoken for all
Breathe on us, breathe on us
God's beating heart, live through us
Word of God, King Jesus
I am like the moon. I have no light of my own; I merely reflect the Sonlight.
I was staring at the full moon last night in wonder. In case you don't know, the sky is my favorite of all God's creation. Utterly breathtaking. But last night, I was imaging what it would be like if I knew nothing about the moon.
Let me explain. The light coming from the full moon was so bright that in a field that would have otherwise been pitch black, we could see everything. My face practically shone in the moonlight. And then I thought, if I didn't know that the moon was made of rock (slash cheese) and therefore incapable of shining on its own, I would think it was producing its own light. However, thanks to a fantastic UGA education for the past three and a half years, I know the moon only reflects the sun's light.
Naturally, I extended this metaphor to myself. Some might say that I am a friendly, kind, genuine, positive person (but ask my roommates). They may see a "light" about me. The thing is, that light's not mine. Anything that's good, or light in me was either created by God or has been redeemed by Him.
I am like the moon; I am nothing too spectacular. Just made up of a bunch of dust, and only if the Lord shines on me can I shine at all. I've heard humans called glory-coated dust and I like that. I am unique, and I serve a purpose, but I have no light of my own. Now, the more I open myself up to His Spirit in me the brighter I become - more like a full moon. And maybe the earth is like the sin that stands in the way of me being a full moon all the time. Or maybe I just took it too far.
But back to what's really important - if no one knows anything about me or the God of this Universe, they might not realize the light is not mine. They'll praise me for being friendly and forgiving when really they should praise Him for anything and everything good. I used to be afraid of accepting compliments for this reason, but now I just want to say "glory to Him" every time.
More than that, though, I want to boast in my weaknesses, my dusty dustiness. Trust me, I have a ton. Ask my roommates. I hurt people; I'm selfish; I'm forever prideful. I'd rather people know so that instead of building me up in their heads, they recognize the Holy God. Nothing good I do is of my own accord. And most of the time lately, I don't feel like I'm doing anything good at all. I feel stuck in a lunar eclipse.
But praise be to the One who mercifully shines on us even when we don't deserve it. So even if right now when all seems confusing I'm still producing a sliver of light, I know where it comes from. May we be willing to share why we reflect that light and that none of it is self-produced. Not one kilowatt. Dust cannot shine unless shone upon.
These lyrics by Jaime Jamgochian say perfectly what I'm trying to say:
Jesus, Light of the world
Shine on us, shine on us
Word of Life, spoken for all
Breathe on us, breathe on us
God's beating heart, live through us
Word of God, King Jesus
I am like the moon. I have no light of my own; I merely reflect the Sonlight.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Real Problem, Bad Solution
"Guarding your heart" is a bad solution to a real problem.
If the Fall had never happened, we would have no reason to guard our hearts. We could trust our hearts to be completely taken care of by everyone because it would be perfect. But, the Fall is a reality. The problem is that we don't take care of each other's hearts because of sin - we're insecure, prideful, selfish, jealous, etc. We hurt each other. The best solution would be for everyone to take care of each other's hearts perfectly, but we cannot. Sin keeps us from that. So the only other solution is to "guard our heart" against others so that they can't destroy us. The only person we can trust fully is the Lord. He takes care of our hearts completely, although sometimes that's hard to see --- because sin gets in the way. Think about it - if we loved each other perfectly, boundaries wouldn't need to exist. We could keep our hearts completely open. Although it makes me question would we still love God the most. But His glory so far outweighs ours, even when we will be perfect in Heaven, that I don't think that would be a problem. He is our Savior. So yes, guarding your heart sucks, but I don't know what other solution there is in a world of heartache.
This is a short post, but I want to hear your thoughts ... ?
If the Fall had never happened, we would have no reason to guard our hearts. We could trust our hearts to be completely taken care of by everyone because it would be perfect. But, the Fall is a reality. The problem is that we don't take care of each other's hearts because of sin - we're insecure, prideful, selfish, jealous, etc. We hurt each other. The best solution would be for everyone to take care of each other's hearts perfectly, but we cannot. Sin keeps us from that. So the only other solution is to "guard our heart" against others so that they can't destroy us. The only person we can trust fully is the Lord. He takes care of our hearts completely, although sometimes that's hard to see --- because sin gets in the way. Think about it - if we loved each other perfectly, boundaries wouldn't need to exist. We could keep our hearts completely open. Although it makes me question would we still love God the most. But His glory so far outweighs ours, even when we will be perfect in Heaven, that I don't think that would be a problem. He is our Savior. So yes, guarding your heart sucks, but I don't know what other solution there is in a world of heartache.
This is a short post, but I want to hear your thoughts ... ?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Right Question
Just the other night I sat at Trappeze and talked with a girl for an hour about our class presentation for the next day. The presentation was on a book of Native American Philosophy and specifically an argument against Western Christian thought. We're both pastor's kids, which is funny, but she has taken a very different path of belief than I have.
While driving home from downtown, I found myself wondering, "Jesus YOU are the light of the world. Did she see that? Does she like me? Did she think I was intelligent?"
Then I realized those last two questions are bad questions. Whether or not she likes me is actually negligible. It won't win her to Christ and really only serves the purpose of making me feel better about myself.
Then I asked myself, "Did she feel loved by me?" That felt like the right question. Her liking me is about me, but her feeling loved makes it about her. I don't care if she thinks I'm cool (Well, my flesh does, but it really shouldn't matter).
I've heard before, "People won't remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel."
I want people to walk away from me feeling loved - always.
To be honest, I feel like you have to give up cool points to do that. It means never cutting anyone down or making jokes at their expense. It means making the conversation about the other person. It means complementing and encouraging; giving up pride and beating insecurity.
I probably won't get it right every time, but I know it's the right question to ask and action to take. Challenge me on it.
While driving home from downtown, I found myself wondering, "Jesus YOU are the light of the world. Did she see that? Does she like me? Did she think I was intelligent?"
Then I realized those last two questions are bad questions. Whether or not she likes me is actually negligible. It won't win her to Christ and really only serves the purpose of making me feel better about myself.
Then I asked myself, "Did she feel loved by me?" That felt like the right question. Her liking me is about me, but her feeling loved makes it about her. I don't care if she thinks I'm cool (Well, my flesh does, but it really shouldn't matter).
I've heard before, "People won't remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel."
I want people to walk away from me feeling loved - always.
To be honest, I feel like you have to give up cool points to do that. It means never cutting anyone down or making jokes at their expense. It means making the conversation about the other person. It means complementing and encouraging; giving up pride and beating insecurity.
I probably won't get it right every time, but I know it's the right question to ask and action to take. Challenge me on it.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Ya Know?
Who has time to blog these days?
My thoughts are soon to come if my life ever slows down .....
My thoughts are soon to come if my life ever slows down .....
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Involuntary Rerouting
Home from the travels. 7 cities in 14 days. Oh baby.
I'll give a highlight (or two) of each one:
Belfast - Protestant Parade. Me, "Are we here on a national holiday?". Catholic hotel concierge, "I don't get it and I don't care." Alright then. There's a crazy history there.
Galway - Cliffs of Insanity aka Cliffs of Moher. That's pronounced mo'hair. But really. It was beautiful. Oh and GILZEAN. So glad he came :)
Dublin - Harry Potter 6. Yeah Ron. And I'll be transferring to Trinity College soon.
Rome - My favorite city by far. Everything was incredible, but St. Peter's Basillica stunned me.
Florence - Sunset at Piazza Micheangelo overlooking the city. And David, of course.
Venice - Aimlessly wandering through the narrow cobblestone streets that dead end into water. Bliss.
Cortona - Anna and Brit's (and all the students) art exhibition. And the endless hours of conversation over cappuccino and gelato.
Then when we got to the airport to go home, we found out they overbooked our flight and we didn't make it on. We got a flight coupon for a direct Delta flight the next day. The reason stated on the ticket? "Involuntary Rerouting." Hah. Yeah, I'd say. I could write out all the clever lessons me and Paige decided we could learn from that phrase, but really I want to write out my thoughts from St. Peter's Basillica. Sorry it took me so long to get to the point. Good writers are only supposed to focus on one subject at a time. Whoops.
Standing in Vatican City with our tour guide, she prepared us for what we would see inside the Church. She promised we would step in and say, wow. Usually when people tell me that my immediate reaction is, well now I probably won't. But walking in, I laughed out loud because the only word that would come to my mind was wow. I don't know how to describe it. I could have stared at the infinite amount of intricate sculptures and the majestic golden linings on the walls for hours. Everything in there was precious, and I don't mean cute. I mean cherished, treasured. Everything had meaning. There wasn't a stone laid by accident. And we were in the Eternal City.
I'll give a highlight (or two) of each one:
Belfast - Protestant Parade. Me, "Are we here on a national holiday?". Catholic hotel concierge, "I don't get it and I don't care." Alright then. There's a crazy history there.
Galway - Cliffs of Insanity aka Cliffs of Moher. That's pronounced mo'hair. But really. It was beautiful. Oh and GILZEAN. So glad he came :)
Dublin - Harry Potter 6. Yeah Ron. And I'll be transferring to Trinity College soon.
Rome - My favorite city by far. Everything was incredible, but St. Peter's Basillica stunned me.
Florence - Sunset at Piazza Micheangelo overlooking the city. And David, of course.
Venice - Aimlessly wandering through the narrow cobblestone streets that dead end into water. Bliss.
Cortona - Anna and Brit's (and all the students) art exhibition. And the endless hours of conversation over cappuccino and gelato.
Then when we got to the airport to go home, we found out they overbooked our flight and we didn't make it on. We got a flight coupon for a direct Delta flight the next day. The reason stated on the ticket? "Involuntary Rerouting." Hah. Yeah, I'd say. I could write out all the clever lessons me and Paige decided we could learn from that phrase, but really I want to write out my thoughts from St. Peter's Basillica. Sorry it took me so long to get to the point. Good writers are only supposed to focus on one subject at a time. Whoops.
Standing in Vatican City with our tour guide, she prepared us for what we would see inside the Church. She promised we would step in and say, wow. Usually when people tell me that my immediate reaction is, well now I probably won't. But walking in, I laughed out loud because the only word that would come to my mind was wow. I don't know how to describe it. I could have stared at the infinite amount of intricate sculptures and the majestic golden linings on the walls for hours. Everything in there was precious, and I don't mean cute. I mean cherished, treasured. Everything had meaning. There wasn't a stone laid by accident. And we were in the Eternal City.
After walking around, I just stood up against one of the pillars, lisening to the voices of a choir singing as Mass began. Wondering at the majesty of it all, I started to think about how I could never create a place like that. I have neither the skill, power nor money. I cannot offer the Lord anything that majestic. We could sit around and debate all day whether or not the Basillica actually honors Him, but my point is that even if I wanted to, I could not in that way.
What I have to offer is my life, my heart. I want my heart to be decorated as preciously, gloriously and purposefully for Him. I want to dedicate and decorate my life beautifully and thoughtfully for Jesus. It takes time. I can't take the easy road and shortcuts as I love to do in every class I've ever taken. It means sanctification, allowing my sins to be revealed and truly turning away from them. I want my life to be a masterpiece for Jesus. I have to develop the skill of having my life glorify Him. It won't be easy, and it will only be by His grace and Spirit.
Bring it on, senior year.
Bring it on, senior year.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A Letter
Dear God,
I feel like I'm missing out on what's going on in Your Kingdom right now. And it's my fault. What's the matter with me? Is it because I feel as though I don't need you? Following You is really hard in America, where because we're free it's 'easy.' When does loving your family become a bad thing? It's the only thing stopping me from moving away and being a missionary. And do I really love them? Not enough to ask the hard questions, or to give the sometimes hurtful truth. I know what I should do constantly and then don't. I'm so weak. Again, I want to blame it on America and not really 'needing' You at all times, but the truth is, it's my sinful heart. My sinful heart wants to be lazy and not have to work hard at a relationship. 'You want me to do what???' I ask. 'But I already had to confess that lie and ask for forgiveness for that hurtful thing I said. I have to do it again?' I don't want to. I just don't want to, because I love comfort more than I love You. And until I decide otherwise, I will sit in misery. I will constantly know I am missing out on Your movement and Kingdom on this earth that I have loved being a part of this past year. I have so much room to grow. God, I have so much to learn. I am stinkin' worthless without You. My pride shows up in the craziest places. Sometimes I disguise it as 'self-respect' but I almost wish I didn't have any right now. It disgusts You; I know it does. Like how I don't want to post this letter to You for anyone else to read, but because of that I must. You are the only Love that has broken through my pride -- please continue to do so. My only plea can be for You to open my eyes even more to your crazy Love. Your crazy, sacrificial, perfect, romantic, words-can't-even-describe, Heavenly, dying love that I will never be able to fully grasp or give. That is what will break me down once again. Break me down into a radical for You who can't wait to get back to spend more time with You. Teach me what I know I'm missing. Show me Your Kingdom. Show me Your love, though I don't deserve it. I am miserable without it.
I feel like I'm missing out on what's going on in Your Kingdom right now. And it's my fault. What's the matter with me? Is it because I feel as though I don't need you? Following You is really hard in America, where because we're free it's 'easy.' When does loving your family become a bad thing? It's the only thing stopping me from moving away and being a missionary. And do I really love them? Not enough to ask the hard questions, or to give the sometimes hurtful truth. I know what I should do constantly and then don't. I'm so weak. Again, I want to blame it on America and not really 'needing' You at all times, but the truth is, it's my sinful heart. My sinful heart wants to be lazy and not have to work hard at a relationship. 'You want me to do what???' I ask. 'But I already had to confess that lie and ask for forgiveness for that hurtful thing I said. I have to do it again?' I don't want to. I just don't want to, because I love comfort more than I love You. And until I decide otherwise, I will sit in misery. I will constantly know I am missing out on Your movement and Kingdom on this earth that I have loved being a part of this past year. I have so much room to grow. God, I have so much to learn. I am stinkin' worthless without You. My pride shows up in the craziest places. Sometimes I disguise it as 'self-respect' but I almost wish I didn't have any right now. It disgusts You; I know it does. Like how I don't want to post this letter to You for anyone else to read, but because of that I must. You are the only Love that has broken through my pride -- please continue to do so. My only plea can be for You to open my eyes even more to your crazy Love. Your crazy, sacrificial, perfect, romantic, words-can't-even-describe, Heavenly, dying love that I will never be able to fully grasp or give. That is what will break me down once again. Break me down into a radical for You who can't wait to get back to spend more time with You. Teach me what I know I'm missing. Show me Your Kingdom. Show me Your love, though I don't deserve it. I am miserable without it.
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