The Right Question

Just the other night I sat at Trappeze and talked with a girl for an hour about our class presentation for the next day. The presentation was on a book of Native American Philosophy and specifically an argument against Western Christian thought. We're both pastor's kids, which is funny, but she has taken a very different path of belief than I have.

While driving home from downtown, I found myself wondering, "Jesus YOU are the light of the world. Did she see that? Does she like me? Did she think I was intelligent?"

Then I realized those last two questions are bad questions. Whether or not she likes me is actually negligible. It won't win her to Christ and really only serves the purpose of making me feel better about myself.

Then I asked myself, "Did she feel loved by me?" That felt like the right question. Her liking me is about me, but her feeling loved makes it about her. I don't care if she thinks I'm cool (Well, my flesh does, but it really shouldn't matter).

I've heard before, "People won't remember what you said to them, but they will always remember how you made them feel."

I want people to walk away from me feeling loved - always.

To be honest, I feel like you have to give up cool points to do that. It means never cutting anyone down or making jokes at their expense. It means making the conversation about the other person. It means complementing and encouraging; giving up pride and beating insecurity.

I probably won't get it right every time, but I know it's the right question to ask and action to take. Challenge me on it.

Ya Know?

Who has time to blog these days?

My thoughts are soon to come if my life ever slows down .....

Involuntary Rerouting

Home from the travels. 7 cities in 14 days. Oh baby.

I'll give a highlight (or two) of each one:
Belfast - Protestant Parade. Me, "Are we here on a national holiday?". Catholic hotel concierge, "I don't get it and I don't care." Alright then. There's a crazy history there.
Galway - Cliffs of Insanity aka Cliffs of Moher. That's pronounced mo'hair. But really. It was beautiful. Oh and GILZEAN. So glad he came :)
Dublin - Harry Potter 6. Yeah Ron. And I'll be transferring to Trinity College soon.

Rome - My favorite city by far. Everything was incredible, but St. Peter's Basillica stunned me.
Florence - Sunset at Piazza Micheangelo overlooking the city. And David, of course.
Venice - Aimlessly wandering through the narrow cobblestone streets that dead end into water. Bliss.
Cortona - Anna and Brit's (and all the students) art exhibition. And the endless hours of conversation over cappuccino and gelato.

Then when we got to the airport to go home, we found out they overbooked our flight and we didn't make it on. We got a flight coupon for a direct Delta flight the next day. The reason stated on the ticket? "Involuntary Rerouting." Hah. Yeah, I'd say. I could write out all the clever lessons me and Paige decided we could learn from that phrase, but really I want to write out my thoughts from St. Peter's Basillica. Sorry it took me so long to get to the point. Good writers are only supposed to focus on one subject at a time. Whoops.

Standing in Vatican City with our tour guide, she prepared us for what we would see inside the Church. She promised we would step in and say, wow. Usually when people tell me that my immediate reaction is, well now I probably won't. But walking in, I laughed out loud because the only word that would come to my mind was wow. I don't know how to describe it. I could have stared at the infinite amount of intricate sculptures and the majestic golden linings on the walls for hours. Everything in there was precious, and I don't mean cute. I mean cherished, treasured. Everything had meaning. There wasn't a stone laid by accident. And we were in the Eternal City.

After walking around, I just stood up against one of the pillars, lisening to the voices of a choir singing as Mass began. Wondering at the majesty of it all, I started to think about how I could never create a place like that. I have neither the skill, power nor money. I cannot offer the Lord anything that majestic. We could sit around and debate all day whether or not the Basillica actually honors Him, but my point is that even if I wanted to, I could not in that way.

What I have to offer is my life, my heart. I want my heart to be decorated as preciously, gloriously and purposefully for Him. I want to dedicate and decorate my life beautifully and thoughtfully for Jesus. It takes time. I can't take the easy road and shortcuts as I love to do in every class I've ever taken. It means sanctification, allowing my sins to be revealed and truly turning away from them. I want my life to be a masterpiece for Jesus. I have to develop the skill of having my life glorify Him. It won't be easy, and it will only be by His grace and Spirit.

Bring it on, senior year.

A Letter

Dear God,

I feel like I'm missing out on what's going on in Your Kingdom right now. And it's my fault. What's the matter with me? Is it because I feel as though I don't need you? Following You is really hard in America, where because we're free it's 'easy.' When does loving your family become a bad thing? It's the only thing stopping me from moving away and being a missionary. And do I really love them? Not enough to ask the hard questions, or to give the sometimes hurtful truth. I know what I should do constantly and then don't. I'm so weak. Again, I want to blame it on America and not really 'needing' You at all times, but the truth is, it's my sinful heart. My sinful heart wants to be lazy and not have to work hard at a relationship. 'You want me to do what???' I ask. 'But I already had to confess that lie and ask for forgiveness for that hurtful thing I said. I have to do it again?' I don't want to. I just don't want to, because I love comfort more than I love You. And until I decide otherwise, I will sit in misery. I will constantly know I am missing out on Your movement and Kingdom on this earth that I have loved being a part of this past year. I have so much room to grow. God, I have so much to learn. I am stinkin' worthless without You. My pride shows up in the craziest places. Sometimes I disguise it as 'self-respect' but I almost wish I didn't have any right now. It disgusts You; I know it does. Like how I don't want to post this letter to You for anyone else to read, but because of that I must. You are the only Love that has broken through my pride -- please continue to do so. My only plea can be for You to open my eyes even more to your crazy Love. Your crazy, sacrificial, perfect, romantic, words-can't-even-describe, Heavenly, dying love that I will never be able to fully grasp or give. That is what will break me down once again. Break me down into a radical for You who can't wait to get back to spend more time with You. Teach me what I know I'm missing. Show me Your Kingdom. Show me Your love, though I don't deserve it. I am miserable without it.

Adonai

I think in our American selfishness we tend to focus on Romans 8:28, which tell us that God works all things together for our good. So when things don't seem to be working for our good, we get mad. But what does it mean for all things to work together for our good?

John Piper might shed a little light on the subject. He talks about how God is actually for Himself .. for us. He knows He is best for us, that His glory is the ultimate, and that He is completely love. Therefore, He is for Himself, but that is really what's best for us. Here's the link to the transcript of his sermon: Is God For Us or For Himself?

I think when we decide to follow Christ we should consider more Matthew 16:24-25, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Deny myself. Ouch. Give up my plans for my life in trust that He will do me one better. Stop thinking about my needs and trusting Him to meet them. Not thinking of my time as my own, ever. I trust His character more than I trust mine, but that doesn't make it much less painful.

This life is not about me. Period. It's about Him. How do I fit into the story?

What do you think? I'm curious.

For the Least of These

There's a Christian bookstore in Athens. After 3 years of wondering why there wasn't one, I found it yesterday. It's on Chase Street of Prince Ave and it's called the Carpenter's Shop. You should go. It has everything you could ever want.

I found a book there about world hunger. Semi-scoffing at the idea the author has of solving world hunger, I opened to the middle and began reading on the page that just so happened to be about this man's encounter with Mother Teresa. He went to visit her, and the very first thing she did was take his hand. She grabbed his fingers and as she pushed them down one by one, she said, "Remember this - 'for...the...least...of...these.'" One word for each finger. I don't think I'll ever forget it. And her words are backed up by the testimony of her life. The author commented that more than anything, Mother Teresa showed her love by touching the 'untouchable' and unwanted people. He said their faces lit up when she entered the room. I want to be that. Mother Teresa was poor. Ordinary. Yet her love for people through Jesus drove her to do what she did. There are most likely others who are doing the same thing but don't get the recognition from this world, but Jesus sees it. I want that.

Her advice to him: "Go out and love the people who are near you." That's all she was doing. That's what this world needs. There are people in every neighborhood, in every city, around every corner who need love. It's ordinary, and yet, it makes all the difference in the world.

I remembered another Mother Teresa quote I read last summer that shapes the way I act and think: 'We claim a loving, forgiving, humble God, but are we the living proof?' To be that for even 5 people in this world, that is enough. To be that for even 1 person maybe. For the least of these. In a way, we're all a least of these.

Fruit Loops

Wesley rocked house tonight.

The speaker guy man talked about a lot of great things that I needed to hear. What I want to write about and expand my thoughts on is the subject of a tree bearing fruit.

Jesus says as a tree bears fruit, so we will bear fruit when we become His children. John 15:1-5, He is the vine and we are the branches. No one can bear fruit apart from Him.

But the guy man brought up a really good point - trees don't struggle to bear fruit. They just ... do it. It's what trees do. Trees bear fruit, no questions asked. So why shouldn't it be the same with us, those of us who are God's children?

I feel like I struggle with this daily. I constantly second guess myself on whether or not I'm doing the right thing or if I should've hung out with that other person or gone to that other thing. I always wonder if I'm making a difference and feel as though I am not. I don't talk about Jesus to people as much as I wish I did.

But it shouldn't be a struggle. A relationship with Jesus is somewhat a struggle, because it's a relationship with an unseen God, and every relationship takes work no matter what. But bearing fruit should not be a struggle. It should be a natural part of who I am as redeemed.

So taking a look at my daily life, I am most certainly trying to live for Jesus. I try to make decisions based on what will bring Him the most glory. Am I achieving those things? Am I bearing fruit? I think it's a good question for anyone to ask. And if the answer is no, then why not? Is it because we're trying to bear fruit on our own when really the only way is when we're intimately connected with the vine?


And then I hear the words of guy man one more time. Jesus really likes you. He loves you. If I'm going to say it to other people, I must believe it for myself. He likes me. Does He like what I'm doing? I sure hope so. I continue to ask for leading, although many times it seems silent. We can never go wrong when we give our lives for others, since according to 1 John 2 we ought to walk in the way Jesus did.

But now I'm just rambling. Oh, to walk in the way Jesus did. Bearing fruit. Giving our lives unto death. Ouch.

It's an Honor

So I watched a video of a woman speaking of the Gospel as she was dying of terminal cancer. She said plenty of people have asked her, "Why is God allowing this happen to you?" She tells people that's the wrong question. And then she said, "If one person meets Jesus because of my disease and my testimony, then I am honored to suffer in this way for His glory." I mean ........ come on. She's receiving a Kingdom unshakable.

During her talk, she also said she doesn't worry about what people think of her, because, "No matter how poorly you think of me, I know that I am worse." That's not a put-down of herself or calling herself worthless, that's an acknowledgment in humility that she is nothing without her Savior. So good.

She also made a striking quote about her sickness, that "God withholds in His wisdom what He could do in His power."

Read that again. Does she trust Jesus or what. But every time she spoke of her disease, she constantly said, "Bar a miracle, I will die in 6-8 weeks." I wonder if she's praying for one. I hope she is, because He can most definitely heal her. But her above quote, about wisdom in power, speaks to me.


So Maymester has been different so far. So many less people in Athens. I miss everyone who's gone. But I know this is where Jesus wants me, and better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere. So here I sit alone in Club Fitty ... content. Trying to trust as Rachel Barkley, the woman I mentioned above, does. Pray for me if you think of it, for whatever comes to mind. I'm pumped to see what adventures come in His name.

If one person meets Jesus because I stayed in Athens this summer, then I am honored to stay.

Religious Rhetoric

This was a reaction to an article I wrote for class! Just thought it was interesting ...


Christianity claims absolute truth. This is offensive to people, but
this is how I look at it: If there really is absolute truth (aka Jesus
really is God and He really is the only way to Heaven) then it doesn’t
matter if it’s offensive, it’s true, and the people who have found it
should proclaim it.

Lessl does seem to have a problem with the “politics” surrounding
Christianity. So do I. What he maybe needs to see is the reasoning
behind it. The story of Christianity is that there is a perfect, loving
God who came to save his sinful creation that was deceived by Satan and
their own pride. There are probably a thousand questions that come to
everyone’s mind as you read that sentence; I’ve asked them all before.
So now it’s God’s sinful creation (although redeemed and forgiven) that
has become the church. Sinful is the key word. Messed up. Imperfect.
Therefore, the church reflects that. That doesn’t make OK when the
church does wrong, but that is why it is happening. People should look
at Jesus more and the church less, because we (the church) unfortunately do not
always reflect who He is and what He stands for.

I, like Philip, am upset at the fact people separate Christianity and
science. If Christians are right (or anyone who believes in a God), and
God created the universe, it should not contradict science. It would
not. It cannot..... I understand the Big Bang Theory and reject it. To
me, it’s just as crazy that “something came from nothing” as it is that
a supreme being God created the universe. There are a lot of scientists
who believe in intelligent design (note the Ben Stein documentary:
http://www.expelledthemovie.com). There are brilliant men and women who
believe in creation AND evolution, so now we must decide which we
believe. We should test both. They cannot both be right.

Again I want to point out something that Philip said - Republican does
not equal Christian. Jesus was not a Republican. Jesus was certainly
conservative in his teaching, but really for Him it was a heart issue. I
know just as many awful Republicans as I do Democrats. Jesus was not for
a political party; He made that pretty clear when he came to earth and
didn’t overthrow the Romans like everyone expected. In my opinion,
according to our Constitution, gay marriage should be allowed and the
Ten Commandments hold no more bearing than any other religion’s
commandments. I have my own thoughts on those two issues, but according
to the Constitution, that’s the way it is. The fact is Jesus doesn’t
care about us following the rules – He wants us to follow Him;
everything else falls into place after that.

Melt My Heart of Stone

This is long .... just read it .... :)

So, I was sitting in a SPCM rhetoric class of mine on Monday, and we were discussing the Civil Rights Movement and Martin Luther King Jr. A boy made a comment about the Civil Rights Bills that were passed around that time and said, "Here's the thing: you can make the laws, but that doesn't change the fact that people are still racist."

Thinking this was an interesting point, I wrote down in my notes - "Laws can't change people's hearts."

I looked at my paper and thought, Woah. Talk about Biblical implications.

So let's talk about the Old Testament laws. They were set in place by a perfect God. The laws He set up, if followed exactly, would make one perfect. He follows these rules, so to follow them would make us just like Him - perfect.

Well, there are two problems. First of all, none of us follow the law perfectly. Secondly, even if we did, just because we follow the rules doesn't mean we want to follow the rules. Follow me? :) It's just like the Civil Rights Laws - a racist white man may follow them so as not to get in trouble, but he doesn't want to. So then is he blameless?

I think we would all answer no, that at least in his heart he is not blameless, and this is what God says for us. He says even in the Old Testament while God's people were under the law that he desired love and mercy more than sacrifices (one of the laws - Hosea 6:6). It's a heart issue.

That's why in Luke 18:22-29, when a rich ruler came and told Jesus he had followed all the laws, Jesus said he was lacking only one thing. "Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." I think more than focusing on what Jesus asked him to literally do (sell everything and give to the poor .. although that is good!), Jesus was showing that this rich ruler didn't really want to follow God, he was just doing the right thing out of obligation. And let's be real, that guy had sinned in his life. So he needed salvation anyway.

So what we need is a change from the inside out! What those racist white men (or women) need more than the laws is a heart change. Am I right? If their hearts were pure and faultless, there would be no need for the law, because they would already be doing the right thing for the right reason (heart issue!). In a very practical sense, that's why older kids have less rules than younger ones, because they already know to do some things right. You don't have to tell them to "eat your vegetables" or "don't slap Susie" because they already know what to do. They don't need those rules.

There are so many implications I can't write them all. This is why we need Jesus, for we cannot save ourselves. Going back to that parable, after Jesus tells the rich ruler what he needs to do be saved (sell everything .. follow me), the disciples are overwhelmed and say,

"Who, then can be saved?"
Jesus replies, "What is impossible with man is possible with God."

God Himself has made it possible for us to be saved, otherwise it would be impossible - we couldn't even if we tried. Hallelujah, praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus, for doing what we could not do. He died on the cross for our sins because we cannot be perfect. Talk about amazing grace.

This is also why need the Holy Spirit living inside of us when we are saved ... our natural hearts will always be sinful and never want to follow God! We may "follow the rules" and "be a good person", but deep down we will want to break them.

Read Romans 7. It tells us about how the law was put in place to show us our sin. If the law wasn't there, we wouldn't know it was wrong. But the purpose of the law was never to save us. It was to show us we needed saving.

Mmm, so good. If this makes you wonder about the Old Testament and how people were saved before Jesus, it's a question I've wrestled with, too. This website sheds some light, it's strongly based on Scripture: Old Testament Salvation. Search other commentaries also; this is just some guy's informal interpretation. But if the Bible is true, there is an answer to this question. So go find it! Find all your answers! They're out there.

Unseen, but not Unfelt

If I couldn't see God, nor could I feel Him, wouldn't it make me crazy to believe God existed?

If you want to get technical, I can see the evidence of God everyday. Love. Wisdom. Mercy. Forgiveness. Joy. I can also see the evidence of evil. Hatred. Injustice. Racism. Pride. The existence of an evil enemy begs the existence of a good God. Creation and all its wonder incites a Creator.

But I have never laid my eyes on God.

There's also the fact that Jesus came to this earth claiming to be God's Son. He performed many miracles during his life. Some people say He rose from the dead. Those people continued to say it, performed many miracles in Jesus' name, and were faithful in saying it even unto death.

I never met him, though.

But I have felt Him. I feel His love. No one can deny me that. You can choose not believe what the Bible says about God and Jesus, but I have felt it. I feel His presence, His love, His truth, His pursuit of me.


1 Peter 1:8-9 "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and though you do not see him now, you are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your soul."


PS. Since it's Easter week, check out the people's lives who were radically changed after they claimed to see Jesus raise from the dead. It's in Acts, among other writings not in the Bible.

Love is a Verb

"You may not live what you say you believe, but you will live what you believe."

So I was reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I made a cool connection ....

Galatians 5:6, "The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself in love.
The only thing that matters?? Because it's faith that saves us (Romans 10:9-10) and
love fulfills God's law (Romans 13:10).

BUT ... love is not just words.
Love is an action.
I think we all believe that, but here's some proof ----->

1 John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not live with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave..."
Luke 23 - Jesus died for us.

So, maybe this is where/how faith and works collide?
Faith expressing itself in love. Love as an action.

One more story from Scripture ... Luke 7:36-50. In verse 38, a prostitute proves her love by cleaning Jesus' feet with perfume and wiping them with her hair. In verse 50, Jesus tells her her faith has saved her.

So, our love (actions) prove our faith. They do not save us. But just think ... if God claimed to love us yet did nothing, didn't send Jesus as a way to Heaven, would we believe Him?

Well, He has done everything. What will we do in response?

judge not ... trust as love

Figuring out your spiritual gifts is one answer to my post below. I would encourage anyone and everyone to do so. I'm still working on mine.

New favorite songs:
When the Saints by Sara Groves
Dead and Gone by TI/Justin Timberlake
Gimme Dat by The Ambassador
By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North
check em outtttttttt

I'm starting to realize that people are very different from me. They make different decisions and say different things every day. But that's okay. That doesn't make them wrong. Who am I to think I know everything? Do I think myself as perfect? Far from it. Hmm. We would probably be better off if we all just left judging to Jesus. (kinda like checking the log in your own eye first ...)

It all goes back to trust. Trusting Him to judge and convict, and really in every area of our lives. Do we really trust the infinite, holy, perfect, omnicient, good, loving, true God we serve or do we act like spoiled children when we don't get our way or feel wronged? Choosing to trust is an act of love from us to Him. I like that. I trust Him more than myself, that's for sure. I'm all screwed up.

So I take what He gives in trust, pray for things, then ask Him to not give me what I want but what I need. And then He answers ........ and then I want Him to leave me alone cause those lessons are hard to learn. Any of that make sense?

Basically, Jesus is good. He's proved it over and over. When will we learn?

oh, maha ......

Well, I'm going to be sitting in the Omaha airport for like the next 8 hours. Items on the to-do list: homework, read, sit, sleep, eat, read, sit, blog. So here it is.

I've been reading through Luke lately, so that's what's comin - randar thoughts on Luke.



Luke 2:40-52 I'm not going to type this story out, but basically, as a teen Jesus was called WISE because he asked a lot of questions. Jesus, God Himself, asked a lot of questions of the older, wiser Jewish men of the day. For those of us in college .. WE ARE YOUNG! We do not know everything. We need advice if we want to be wise.


Luke 5:5 "'Master,' Simon said, 'We worked hard all last night and didn't catch a thing. But if you say so, I'll let the nets down again.'" This is the definition of insanity!! To do the same thing and expect a different result. But Simon did it ... because Jesus asked him to. Am I willing to do insane things Jesus asks of me? Are you? ((2 Thess. 1:11 "May He give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do."))


Luke 6:12 "One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night." Jesus...prayed...all night. Who are we to think we don't need to also? He was God Himself and he prayed all night!! This blows my mind. Maybe I should pray these next 8 hours ....


Luke 6:27-31 " Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks ... Do to others as you would like them to do to you." This is radical, but very clear. It's the inside-outside-upside-down Kingdom! To love those who do wrong to you. Ouch. So hard.
Luke 6:35-36 "Love your enemies! Do good to them .... then you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked." Again, ouch.


Luke 7:36-50 I'm not gonna type out all the verses, but it's the beautiful story of Jesus forgiving a very sinful woman. Lots of implications here - she performed a deed (perfume on Jesus' feet) to prove her faith in Him, and she was forgiven. Also, there is no one too sinful to be forgiven by Jesus!


Luke 9:22, 24 "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me ... But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." So, how does this apply to us? Obviously it looks different for every single person. What does taking up my cross daily mean? Just living unselfishly? Or is there more?


Kind of a lot ... but Luke is just so good. You should read it! I should go read it. Alright, I'll leave you with this quote from an awesome song, one that really puts into words the way I'm feeling right now ...


But all I really wanted was the One who really won it .. fought death, beat it, gave his life to the public. I love it.